rredhead
Senior Member
Registered: April 2005
Location: California
Posts: 450
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Review Date: Sun August 13, 2006
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Would you recommend the product? No |
Total Spent: None indicated| Rating: 2
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Positive aspects of the product (pros):
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raises important questions, offers different perspectives
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Negative aspects of the product (cons):
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dogmatic, dated
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The Open Adoption Experience was highly recommended to me, so much so that I bought a copy for us and for our son's birth mother. As I began reading the book, I quickly became disgusted with it. As in her book, Raising Adopted Children, Melina uses the imperative: You must have an entrustment ceremony, The birth mother will feel this, All adopted children will be confused by, and so on.
One assertion I found particularly false: That you should not call a sibling that remains with the birth family a brother or sister to your child. Melina states that children will be confused by this.
Not only is that disrespectful to the birth family, it's an outdated concept. With so many different types of families, blended families, step-families, etc. there is no reason that a child would be confused by having a brother or sister who doesn't live with him.
Our son's birth mother found The Open Adoption Experience to be patronizing. Who was this author to tell her what she should feel? I finished the book, in case I found anything helpful, though there wasn't much. After finding out that I didn't like it either, she stopped reading.
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-Robyn
mom to Jackson, b. 17 January 2006
private, domestic, open adoption
Antioch, CA
Child #1: Is that your mother?
Child #2: Yes.
Child #1: Why is she white and you are black?
Child #2: Because I am adopted, and black people have more melanin than white people do.
Child #1: Oh, let's go on the high bars.
-Unknown
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Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee
